The requirement to divide your parenting time with your ex is one of the most challenging aspects of sharing custody. However, Kentucky parenting plans typically require that you determine a percentage of time that each of you will have the children and then also Institute certain rules for the division of special days, like holidays.
It is natural to feel saddened at the prospect of missing out on holidays with your turn, but that is a necessary compromise when you share custody with their other parents. How do you arrive at a holiday custody arrangement that is appropriate for your entire family?
Preserve tradition wherever you can
All of the changes that come with divorce can be very difficult for children, but you and your ex have the chance to minimize the losses they suffer. Keeping as many holiday traditions intact as possible will help your children remain connected to their cultural heritage and their broader family community.
This might mean that one parent allows the other to have the children for Christmas for the majority of the day every year so that they can go to Grandma’s house. Such compromises can be hard for the parents but are often best for the kids.
Prioritize allowing both parents to celebrate
Whether you alternate which years the children spend certain holidays with each parent or you have one parent come to pick the children up for the evening on holidays so that the children get to see both parents, it is important to let both parents celebrate the holidays that matter to them with the children.
Have rules in place for conflict
You never know when you and your ex might get into a tense disagreement about whether a certain Christmas present is appropriate or if they can take the children on a holiday trip this year.
Nothing ruins the holiday spirit for children faster than witnessing an intense parental dispute related to the holidays. You can prevent your conflicts from affecting the children by proactively arranging for conflict resolution in your parenting plan.